I was wondering if anyone else on here is a Mum or Dad of young kids? I have a son who is 22 months old, and I'm really sturggling to keep up with him!

My Crohns returned (after nealry 10 years of remission) about 3 months after he was born, it got steadily worse until finally, 4 weeks ago, i had a small bowel resection. This has really helped the pain, but unfortunatley I still have imflammation in the colon, so still suffer with urgency/diahorrea etc..

Looking after my little boy is really hard work. I feel so down that I can't play with him properly. My lovely Mum comes up to visit on the days he isn't in nursery to help because at the mo I just don't have the energy to keep up with him all day. I end up counting down the hpurs to nap time so that i can nap too, and I feel our time together just isn't as fun for him as it should be. Esp as i can't take him anywhere fun because of worrying about needing the loo.

I'd love to hear how other people cope with looking after their kids whilst feeling poorly, or just general experiences!

Thanks!

Can't really give you any advice or experiences, my kids are grown up, but I wanted to say how I feel for you.  Kids are hard work at the best of times so you must be finding it hard.  You are probably doing a better job than you think, us mums put a lot of pressure on ourselves.  I understand about not being able to take him out, have you any friends with children of a similar age who could come to you (someone who knows you may have to dive to the loo at a moments notice).  Perhaps a picnic in the garden if you have one, children remember the experience of the picnic not neccessarily where it was. Having a baby then surgery so soon puts a huge strain on you mentally and physically, take any help offered and try not to worry about the unneccessary things about the house.  You sound like you are going through a lot and are doing a great job considering. Hugs

it  is really  a trouble

Hello,
My daughter is 26 months and since she was born my Crohn's has been up and down since her birth when its bad it makes me feel like a bad mum as i would need to rush to the toilet half way through feeding her and as  was a single parent it was only me she had to rely on it really got me down.
Things have improved over the last year although my crohns has got so bad im having a stem cell transplant it is almost stable at the moment and im leading an almost normal life my daughter goes into child care through the week there she does all the things that I at times cant do with her she absolutly loves and ive had a partner for a year who is fantastic at helping and ive come to realise that accepting help is not a bad thing.
So it is very hard having young children and suffering with crohns you just need to keep working with the docs to find something that helps improve your health so you can get on

Donna x

Hello Cassie
My Crohn's appeared when I was pregnant with my second child and I had a hemicolectomy when I was 10 weeks pregnant.  My children are now 4 and 6 and are completely used to 'Mummy's funny tummy'  - they think it's normal when I fall asleep on the sofa during the day.  We don't socialise much and my children watch much more television than I'd like, but it works for us as a family.  My partner is great at taking the children out when I'm completely bed ridden and I'm now self employed, so often have an office set up in the bedroom.  I guess it's all about adapting your lifestyle to make the best of things.  It's hard work having children.  It's even harder work having children and a chronic illness.  But you do begin to appreciate the small things in life  - like just hanging around with them at home.  Don't try and do too much, and don't beat yourself up!  Oh, and it definitely gets easier when they are older.
x

Hi Cassie

At last another mum - Ive a son who's 2 years 8 months, high energy  - he's like a duracell bunny!, and now we are going through the "not sure if I want to drop a nap" phase.

I hit rock bottom 5 months after having him, the doc did tests and confirmed I had coeliac disesae, but up until november last year I was still suffering pain, diarrhoea and the worst ever feeling of "oh my god where's the loo - oops to late", they diagnosed crohns after a colonoscopy, and Im still getting used to the symptons....

that aside, re looking after litluns, I have no help from my parents,and the rest I get is 3 mornings whilst he's in pre school, I take my chances if he'l nap, sometimes he's a little star (today I got 3 hours), but yesterday he was up from 5.30am til 7pm. If he go's down I go down, its so hard trying to meet their demands no matter how small, whether its play with me , play with my toys, take me out, hey catch up with me while I leg it!!, at the moment Ive found that Im entering anew mind set which is:- Ive got to beat this crohns or it will beat me, Im done with being ill, and Im not the mum I wanted to be - the danger is, that as Ive found out , you find yourself almost resenting them for bringing on illness.

Id like to reach a position where I am capable of kicking a ball round the park for more than 10 minutes, and not having to take 2 change bags wherever I go, Ive already had to make the decision not to have any further children so the little fellas on his own.

Ben is learning that he has to accept that I can't always meet his demands and get on the floor and play or run around, but getting his playmates to visit us so he's occupied is always a winner, take the help your mum offers for as long as possible, get friends involved, and when you can go to toddler groups where the loos are nearby, theres always some mum that'l keep tabs on them.

Also - check out jofrost.com, fab chat forum on there!

let me know how your doing
Jo x

Thanks for all your replies. It helps so much to know I'm not alone. You know what, I hadn't even thought of inviting the other mums here to play. I'm in a flat but could def it in a couple of mums and babies. I've been missing out on meet ups because I just don't have the strength to get Ryan there (I'm in a 1st floor flat and cant get the pushchair up and down the stairs on my own at the mo.)

Its interesting to hear how many of us have had relapses after giving birth. I haven't plucked upt he courage to talk to my consultant about it yet, but I'm pretty sure having Ryan triggered my flare up, and it makes me worry about having more kids. We may have to come to terms with having just one.

I saw my consultant yesterday and hes arranging for my 1st dose of infliximab in a couple of weeks. I reall yhope it does the trick and I can get myself stronger so I can feel like a proper mum again!

Hope Infliximab helps, I had my first last week.  If you can try to get your mum over to help after it.  I was ok until a few hours after then was very tired (like I had done a very hard days work).  I have also heard this from of lot of people on other forums, I think it is always good to know how you may feel so you can allow for it.  Good Luck  

Hey Cassie

My GP told me this:- its ok to have just one baby, everybody assumes that you will have more or want more. but its not always the case, and sometimes you should just count yourself lucky to have one and quit whilst your ahead.

She also told me that having a baby suppresses your immune system so that your body doesn't reject the foreign body inside you, and also that a baby takes waht it needs from you in nutrients etc, but if you are not getting enough, will pretty much strip your bones of your calcium, and your blood of iron, and then hit your reserves, leaving your immune system fighting for itself. That in turn leaves your bodies antibodies fighting itself and the wrong bacteria growing inside your bowels etc and therefore promotes more disease like coeliac/crohns etc.  

Ive also been reading up on these drugs they give us, and a lot are non pro pregnancy.

Get yourself straight first before you start wrestling with that decision, and when you are ready to discuss it with the consultant, find out if they have kids too?

Take care

x